Ending Airport Angst

Soothing sunsets for your sensitive mood, looker’s right.

’Tis the season for summer travel! It’s also the time of year that airports devolve into chaos. Not the holiday meltdown chaos of December, but the family vacation mayhem; the frenzied everyone-and-their-mom is on the road rowdiness; the GTFO-of-here-pandemonium. This is the peak season of airport whining. People complain about delays and crowded flights, about almost everything related to airports and the process of moving from Point A to Point B. I’d like to propose a simple mental exercise to stop the cycle of BADitude and start a trend of joyous airport experiences for all.

One of the things that makes traveling so wonderful is the break in routine it provides. We all work hard to make sure our regular lives are stable and consistent. We take the same route to work everyday to avoid the traffic. We have a coffee at 2pm to make it productively through the slump. Travel provides us a chance to escape this necessary routine—yet we often describe it as stressful. Ask anyone about a recent vacation, and I can almost guarantee it will include a story about an awful airport/flight experience. What if you made a small perspective shift and decided to embrace the unpredictability and lack of control? After all, isn’t that the whole reason you’re packing your bags and leaving?

This attitude adjustment takes a bit of practice, but with a few tries, I know you all can master it. Take airport security for example. Everyone knows lines are long and the rules of TSA seem arbitrary—almost purposefully designed for your annoyance. You could bypass the frustration of it all by enrolling in TSA PreCheck [seriously can’t believe everyone doesn’t have this]. But if you’re stuck in regular security, choose to embrace the absurdity of the whole song and dance. I used to marvel at how angry people waiting in the security line were. It should go without saying that if you miss your flight, it’s your own damn fault. You can’t control how long the lines are, how many TSA officers are working, etc. But you can control two things: what time you get to the airport and your attitude once you’re there. Try this: instead of focusing on how those folks who are responsible for keeping bombs off planes are inconveniencing you, instead try guessing where all your fellow sheep are traveling. Then fill in their backstories. Or, if you’re not feeling creative, pull out your book and read while you wait. Time flies when your mind is occupied. What I’m saying is, you can be upset when you see the mile long line snaking through 40 rows of retractable seat belts, or you can embrace this comical part of traveling. It’s your choice.

Stop and appreciate how cool airplanes are, design wise.

I flew standby for a few years and spent an ungodly amount of time stuck in airports. I observed some unbelievable and irrational behavior by my fellow travelers. I mean grown adults absolutely losing their shit over circumstances that were beyond anyone’s control. I watched despicable human behavior by people who were slightly inconvenienced while trying to take a vacation! I mean seriously, people. Step back and get a bit of perspective. When you decide to travel, you relinquish the accustomed control of your everyday life. This is good. This is a beautiful thing. And you’re going to let the fact that a thunderstorm caused a flight delay make you blow a gasket? Perhaps, if I may be so bold, I might suggest that you take more vacations. Not because you’ll grow numb to the irony of airports, but because you need to enjoy life more. 

Before you get annoyed at the lack of overhead bin space, take a deep breath, smile at the flight attendant, and choose to be polite. Is it really their fault that the bin is full? Before you complain about the $15 sandwich, choose instead to delight in how extra tasty that first vacation beer tastes (or just pack your own lunch). And please, for the love of god, be nice to the gate agents. Their job basically consists of repeatedly disappointing 150 person crowds. They are airport punching bags, so don’t shoot the messenger. Instead, greet them warmly, smile, thank them. When shit hits the fan, these magicians will go to great lengths to get you where you’re trying to go. 

Find some greenery or a view of the outside world, and take a few deep breaths.

I have a hard time with people complaining about any part of the incredible privilege of taking a vacation. Yes, airports can frustrate the most patient among us—even a seasoned traveler like myself. But the fact is that if I’m at an airport, I’m either going on vacation or I’ve just been on one. And if that’s the case, well, life is pretty damn good and I’d consider myself lucky. So a few hour delay? An overcrowded flight? A last minute gate change? My friends, they’re all still better than being at work! Next time you enter that strange little microcosm of life where shiny metal birds rapidly ferry you to some faraway destination: check your expectations at the door, relinquish control, and go with the flow of the airport monkey business. You’ll find it sets a pleasant tone for your whole vacation!